One-of-a-Kind Red Baron Snoopy Doll


Let’s just take this Red Baron Snoopy Doll description apart, piece by piece. The seller’s description is in bold and my comments follow. I apologize for the uppercase, even though it is not my doing. Internet etiquette has missed sections of eBay.

YOU CAN BE THE PROUD AND HAPPY OWNER OF A VERY RARE SNOOPY RED BARRON PLUSH DOLL 18 INCHES TALL FROM THE 1950’S. I can’t since such a doll doesn’t exist. Why would I want to spend $9k on a single doll? There is no proof that this doll is from the 1950’s, a licensed Snoopy doll or that it will make me happy, as far as the seller has shown.

AS THE RED BARRON PATROLS THE SKIES YOU CAN REST ASSURED AND SLEEP IN PEACEFUL BLISS FROM THE PROTECTION YOU HAVE. If the Red Baron is patrolling my skies, then I probably won’t be sleeping blissfully. I’ll have slipped into a parallel dimension where the Germans won The Great War. What other historical shifts await me? I shudder to think.

DON’T SHY AWAY FROM THIS ONCE IN A LIFETIME OFFER. I will shy away from this Red Baron Snoopy Doll. There are lots of other once in a lifetime offers I’ve passed up and forgotten about because my life is fine without them. Perhaps I should take the $9k opportunity to do a round the world tour which would certainly be an amazing lifetime memory that I would keep with my forever.

YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO FIND ANOTHER. If I never find another Red Baron Snoopy Doll, that is fine by me. This dog’s horrible tongue is the stuff of my nightmares. However, my mom DID find another “Red Baron” knock-off Snoopy plush. On eBay. For only $40.

THIS IS A ONE TIME CHANCE TO OWN ONE OF THE MOST VALUED AND RARE SNOOPY RED BARRON DOLLS IN THE HISTORY OF THE HUMAN RACE. That’s just bull shit and the buyer knows it. I wouldn’t bring up such language, but I think in this instance, it truly embodies my distaste for such a statement. Who values this Red Baron Snoopy Doll so highly? If it’s a one-of-a-kind, like the seller claims, then there is no historical record of previous sales that would justify such a high price. If the seller does have records, then please, produce them on the listing to give credence to the wild claims.

BUY NOW WITH NO REMORSE OR REGARDS. Passing on this, no regrets!

Snoopy as the Flying Ace fought against the Red Baron starting in the mid-1960’s. Why would anyone produce this toy in the 1950’s? Perhaps this toy is from the parallel dimension where the Germans won WWI! With proof, this toy could be the most important doll in the history of the human race. Think of the possibilities for science! If only the seller had proof, I’d gladly fork over $9,000 for a doll I could use to create a new tourism industry of traveling to parallel dimensions. Wait! I don’t have that kind of money. Oh well, maybe next time.

Peanuts memorabilia generally has a strong resemblance to the original characters. Charles Schulz was a stickler for making sure his characters were correctly represented. Anything that does not bear the UFS copyright is a knock-off, meant to either cash in on a vague likeness to Snoopy or is just a generic black and white dog. I don’t mind people selling “knock-offs” and I don’t mind them getting confused as to what it is because not everyone can be an expert at everything. However, to make such claims to its rarity and value is a bold faced lie. Buy odd collectibles at face value when sellers weave wild tales. As a Peanuts collector, I wouldn’t take this plush even if he was free.

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